The Magic ‘Keeper Theory

David De Gea is becoming a subject. He was going to move, it was all but done in terms of our acceptance – I was all ready to wish him well and watch him go. I was at Old Trafford for the last home game of last season and I tell you now, not since Eric Cantona graced that stage have I ever watched a player so intensely. I was looking for anything, disinterest, too long clapping at half time, too much time looking around the stadium, I don’t know what I was looking for but some kind of indication that he was leaving. As it happens he limped off and everyone around me filed the biggest lot of conspiracy theories since Oswald ‘shot JFK’. He came back for the parade thing at the end of the match and I watched his head go back, and to the left, back and to the left, back and to the left… talking to Ashley Young. The single biggest piece of business we had to do that summer was, I thought, keeping David De Gea.

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Seven and the Ragged Tiger

SO that was the summer. Falcao went but we expected him to be off, Nani went too but he had been on loan so long you probably forgot we even still owned him.  The pea came back, a bit hairier than I remember him and whilst it’s fair to say the break was in both parties’ best interests I am glad to see it wasn’t a break up. There may still be some United resurrection for  Javier, that is something which Angel Di Maria didn’t need, want, look for or deserve quite frankly; whether he was unsettled in Manchester or unhappy at United (tried engineering a move to the blue lot across the road, did he? Snake), I care not – it nosedived spectacularly for that boy but I do think the new number seven will be fine with standing on the shoulders of giants. For a while it did seem like no one would be good enough, Robson, Beckham, Ronaldo… who could possibly follow that? United saw fit to bring the 7 down a peg or two, in the modern world it was perhaps becoming the Raheem Stirling of squad numbers; too big for its boots, so we cleansed it, with Michael Owen. Then there was the time Tony V was too scared, we gave it to Angel Di Maria – for all of one year. Following David Beckham, Ronaldo? New occupant Memphis might be a little scared, but following that Argentinian piece of work? I’m quite sure Memphis tra la la’d into Big L’s office and said “thanks boss, I can definitely follow that!”

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